“the past still haunts me, so i’ll haunt it back”

Image for post
Image for post
low res footage of a cam for a live performance, felt fitting
Alice Glass — Forgiveness (Jan. 11. 18.)

Years ago I began the process of trying to remove myself from an abusive relationship that started when I was a teenager. Over the course of that relationship I was systematically cut off from anyone and everyone that I could truly be close to. I was talked down to, yelled at, locked into rooms and criticized daily about my abilities, my weight, my looks, my intelligence and almost every move I made. When I couldn’t take it anymore and I wanted to end the relationship I was threatened, then I was told I was loved, and the cycle would begin again.

i wish my former vocalist the best of luck in her future endeavors. i think it can be empowering for her to be in charge of her own project. it should be rewarding for her considering she didn’t appear on Crystal Castles’ best known songs. (she’s not on Untrust Us. Not In Love, Vanished, Crimewave, Vietnam, Magic Spells, Knights, Air War, Leni, Lovers Who Uncover, Violent Youth, Reckless, Year of Silence, Intimate, 1991, Good Time, Violent Dreams etc.). people often gave her credit for my lyrics and that was fine, i didn’t care.

for the record, i wrote almost all of the lyrics in my former band and the vast majority of the vocal melodies

i was a founding member of crystal castles and shaped the sound and aesthetic from the very beginning

manipulative statements about my contributions to the band only reinforce the decision I made to move on to other things

Alice Glass — I Trusted You (12. 21. 18.)

While recording our first EP, the recording engineer sexually harassed me while we were in the studio. Claudio laughed at me and pressured me to go along with it. He called our first single “Alice Practice” and said my vocals were a mic test. He concocted that story and told press it was an “accidental” recording, intentionally diminishing my role in its creation. It was another way of putting me down and preying on my insecurities.

Alice Glass — Sleep It Off (2. 7. 20.)
“Alice Practice” live cam (4. 21. 19.)
Alice Glass — Natural Selection (Ghostemane Remix) — Performance by Abhora (10. 26. 18.)
Alice Glass — Without Love (9. 10. 17.)

Written by

Trans writer currently based in Maryland.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store